Workout updates

Two in one, since I forgot to post these when I did the workout!

At Anna's house, I decided to run in the old neighborhood instead of working out on a machine....GLAD I DID!

Workout #1:

Jogged .9 miles and cooled down


Workout #2:

Jogged 1.1 miles and cooled down.

Now, to keep that up!!! WOOHOOOOO!

Looking back on Father's Day

So, I haven't had a chance to sit down and really type anything lately. I've actually been quite tired, cranky, and not very into DOING anything that needs my brain...go figure.

Father's Day was so strange without Todd. Thankfully, we got to talk with him, and the girls got to say hello and wish Daddy a good day. We had sent him a tshirt that the girls made for him, and he wore it to work Sunday and send us pics of it, so that was pretty cool! He seems to be doing well there. He particularly seems to be enjoying the work. It sounds like he is doing some super important and high speed stuff, so from a career standpoint, it must be thrilling! I'm glad. He now has his friend Kris (Mr. K-ris) in the Green Zone as well, so that is nice for him. Ginger and I are both now dealing with learning how this whole deployment thing works. I think we'll both be just fine!

As for the girls, Leah had a special day because she got to sing at church. The VBS kids put on a presentation to the church of the songs that they learned during the week. She LOVED it, and it was super cute.


Kara decided (on a whim like Kara usually does) that she needed to have earrings. She was quite sad because she wanted to be able to wear her earrings to bed, and when I told her the night before that she couldn't wear her clip ones to bed, she was sad. So, that was enough to make her want to do the ear piercing thing, and viola! We now have two girls with beautiful earrings (will post the video eventually)

Workout update

Treadmill Day #9:
25 minutes
239 calories
1.79 miles
1.2 miles jogging 10.75 min/mi pace!!
.65, recover, .35, recover, .2, recover

Not bad, considering my PMS today, eh?

Workout update

Treadmill Day #8:
25 minutes
239 calories
1.79 miles
1.2 miles jogging 10.75 min/mi pace!!
.65, recover, .30, recover, .25, recover

Same as last time. I'm not discouraged, though, because I have a minor sinus thing going on and a lot of stuff dripping down my throat which made it difficult to breath well.

Will try to improve next time to .75 miles first stretch.

Will be at my sisters for a couple of days, so no treadmill until at least Thurs.....so we'll see!!!

Workout update

Treadmill Day #7:
25 minutes
230 calories
1.80 miles
1.2 miles jogging 10.75 min/mi pace!!
.65, recover, .30, recover, .25, recover

MUSIC is a great motivator. Wore headphones and had music egging me on!!! Hoping that maybe the time after next to get a mile at once!!

The news is evil

Well, now I know why we don't really watch the news at our house. You see, my parents are OBSESSED with the news. They will watch ABC on the weekends, where they simply repeat the same news over and over for 4 hours. Holy moly. To hear the newscasters report it, judgement day is near.

Seriously. If I hear the story about the man who drown in the Ohio Pyle river, or the boy scouts who died in a tornado, or anything more about the flooding in Iowa, or how the price of a gallon of gas is going to be $5 by Labor Day, or the amount of money it will be costing to simply check a piece of luggage when you fly, I'm gonna pull my ears off. Is it all news worthy? Sure. People love to hear about tragedy (why is beyond me), but good heaven's. The end of the world is NOT coming people.

It IS a good thing, because hopefully people will start to realize that when it comes to a lot of this stuff, there are many things that individuals can do to help.....in the form of greener lives and better ways for the earth. However, people in general are selfish and uncaring, so not much is going to change, I'm sure....at least in this rural backwards place. I mean, seriously, most people here won't even consider recycling (because they actually have to take the stuff to a recycling center themselves)...it makes me crazy!

Off on a tanget I go. Bottom line is this. I don't like to watch the news. I know that these things go on. I read about the important stuff online. I don't care to watch them over 18 times and feel depressed that I brought children into such a shitty world.

I'm done. I think :)

On a happy note....the girls had a blast swimming at Larry and Jodi's tonight. They were both jumping in off the diving board with their swimming vests on and not thinking much of it. It's wonderful to see them not afraid, though I will be teaching them respect for the water, of course. Everyone went to bed in a good way and without any major tantrums, so I'll take it.

GOOD NIGHT.

Workout update

Treadmill Day #6:
25 minutes
223 calories
1.71 miles
1 mile jogging 10.5 min/mi pace!! (with a .1 mile sprint at the end!!)
.35, recover, .25, recover, .2, recover, .1, quickrecover, .1sprint

Just wasn't feeling it today. I think i need to keep my slower pace until I can do a mile at once, then increase a bit at a time until i'm doing a decent timed mile.

Another setback for Mom?

Being with my family is nice in so many ways, but there are still those days that this just sucks beyond belief! Yesterday was one of those for me. I actually ended up SICK. I have no doubt that it was stress and lack of sleep. Since arriving at my parents house, I haven't been able to go to sleep before 2 am. Now, thankfully, a few mornings, I slept in until 8, but still....6 hours doesn't work for me at all.

I still don't feel like I can totally relax and let go. I feel like my parents have this attitude that I just have to tough it out, and the kids are totally my responsibility. I'm not sure how I feel about that. On one hand, it's right. I mean, they ARE my responsibility. On the other hand, if I can't count on them to help me catch a few minutes of a break, then who can I count on? I mean, really....would it hurt for them to offer to watch the kids while I go do some shopping or something? I ran to the convenient store a mile away today, and it was the first 10 minutes that I was ALONE since my husband left (without a responsibility besides myself). No wonder my body shut down yesterday.

Emotionally, I had a rough one, too. I keep thinking about father's day and how he won't be here. It really sucks. I know that it will be fine and we will get through it, but I hate it. I hate it for my girls. I hate it for me and for him. But, he volunteered....and there are still days that I'm really angry at him for that. Esp. when we're swimming, and i have two girls in vests in the water who both want to take them off to "learn how to really swim" and I can't do it alone. They aren't patient enough to take turns because they are too excited. So, I'll have to come up with some kind of plan for this one.

It's also very hard being home emotionally. I don't like being in this place....where I grew up. My life is so far gone from this place now. I don't like the feelings that I have here....that I'm out of place. I don't fit in here. I don't belong here, and it's uncomfortable. Without sounding like too much of a snob, I'm beyond this place and most of these people. There isn't much of an open mind in small town, rural Pennsylvania, and I can't really deal much with that. I don't have a tolerance for closed minds....strong opinions, yes, but not closed minds. I keep having funky dreams about people in high school and all kinds of weird shit. I don't like it one bit.....there is a reason why I've left all of that behind me. I love my life the way it is......and sadly (because I DO miss my family), that is a life that is NOT here.

Well, I'm all over the place tonight. I need to get some Disney planning done. I'm glad to hear from Todd that he's looking forward to our trip when he returns. I think it will be a great help to all of us reconnecting.....at least I HOPE it will!!!

Tourguidemike, here I come.

workout update

skipped yesterday, went swimming with the girls.

Treadmill Day #5:
25 minutes
234 calories
1.75 miles
1.1 mile jogging 11 min/mi pace!! (with a .1 mile sprint at the end!!)
.75, recover, .2, recover, .1, .1 sprint, recover

I'm still miserably bored on the treadmill, though. Need to get some tunes going.

Hoping for a phone call

Communications have been down for Todd the last couple of days. The last time we spoke with him was yesterday afternoon. He didn't call last night (when he was getting up for the day), or this afternoon (when he would have been getting ready for bed). I didn't realize how much I looked forward to hearing from him those two times a day. It's only a few minutes, but it feels so good to stay connected. I can't even IMAGINE what it must be like to not hear from husbands for a couple of weeks! I tell you that the soldier's wives are my heroes (oh crap, is that an oes or an os?...I'm not very good at this spelling thing!).

The girls seem to be doing a little better today, and thus, me as well. It's stressful for me not knowing what to do to help them. I hate being bitchy and grumpy with them, too. I'm trying to do more FUN things with them, just hanging out and stuff. Leah and I had a great talk tonight before she fell asleep. It was just nice. I felt very close to her, and that is a good thing.

It's getting super hot here now. The air conditioners are in and we're ready for the 90 degree weather. We were going to visit the Pittsburgh zoo this weekend, but might skip it until there is a cooler day. 90 doesn't sound like much fun to me.

We'll probably set up the big blow up pool that we bought. the girls will have a blast. Maybe we'll head out to Larry and Jodi's pool, too. The girls have been having a ball doing all kinds of "country" things. They've been swinging outside, finding bugs, and rolling down the hill in my mom's yard. It's just the best! Very relaxing for all of us that way.

Now, wish me luck that in another 1.5 hours, my cell phone rings, and it's Todd saying hello :)

workout update

Skipped yesterday.

Treadmill Day #4:
23 minutes
212 calories
1.68 miles
1 mile jogging 11 min/mi pace!! (with a .1 mile sprint at the end!!)

Dear God

Help me to get better at this. Guide me in a way that I can help my children deal with their daddy being away. Be with us so that we may come together as a family and be strong. Amen.

Today is just one of those days that I am done. I want to run and hide and pretend that I'm a child again. I want someone to take care of me. I want a grown up who knows how to do this to take care of my girls. I can't possibly deal with things when I don't have a clue what to do to make them okay.

The girls are having a VERY hard time adjusting to being at Grandma's house. So much so, that I'm second guessing our coming here. For me, it's mostly better because I'm not alone. However, it's really hard when it comes time for BED. In Saint Louis, we'd just gotten into a grove and finally had it all down. Uno. Brush teeth, potty, bath. Books. ABC game (mostly Kara nursed here). Bed for Kara. Once she was sleeping, Leah and I did another book or two, laid down and talked then she went to sleep. Everyone was out by 9 and that was that.

Let's just say that at 10:15 (MO time), my girls are finally sleeping. One or the other of them has had a MAJOR tantrum after dinner/before bed for every night that we've been here. I dont' know exactly WHY, other than, gee...daddy being gone, being away from their house and routine, having a grandmother who (although she loves them to death) seems to feel like she needs to show me how to be a better mom by constantly "putting my girls in their place". I'm having some REAL issues with that, I have to say. Sometimes I just don't get where she is coming from, or why she feels the need to be so in charge. We have different feelings on kids and the way to deal with many things. For some reason, apparently in her house she won't respect my ways, but rather, she'll make up the rules. My poor girls are suffering for it, and they must be so freaking confused.

So, after tonight, Kara FREAKING out more than I;ve ever seen. Me getting upset, her upset, Leah feeling bad for Kara and me. Kara hitting me, me spanking Kara...the list goes on.....I've decided that it's just going to have to be all about those girls from me while we're away. I know that things need to stay somewhat "normal", but that's out the window at this point. I will try my best to just be with them so that the three of us can get through this. To hell with pretty much anything else.

I really really could have used Todd to lean on today. If he were here, these problems wouldn't have existed. Sometimes I'm pretty pissed off about that. I do understand, but hope he knows what these girls are going through for him, and our country (in a weird way). He's not the only one sacrificing. I hate that my girls didn't have a choice about it,

Why can't I just relax?

More on the details later. I had to type out a few things so that I don't forget to talk about them.

-I'm tough attitude
-Cooking
-feeling like I don't belong. I'm a snob
-Happy to be with family. Nice to be distracted. Wish it weren't so blah.

Workout #3

Day 3 on treadmill:
23 minutes
211 calories
1.65 miles
1 mile jogging 11 min/mi pace!!

**NO, it wasn't a whole mile at once, but three different pieces...
.55, recover, .25, recover, .2, recover

My goal by the time Todd comes back is to be able to run a 5K with him. NO, I don't have to do it FAST or even without walking some, just mostly jog 3.2 miles. Ultimately, I would like to do it all at once without recovering in between, but I don't know that it is realistic to expect that by the time he comes home knowing that I'm only going to have access to a treadmill for 4-6 weeks....unless Kara all of the sudden decides that going to the gym daycare isn't so scary for her.

The trip

Driving from Saint Louis, MO to Elderton, PA seems like a normal thing to do, to me. My neighbors (as well as others in MO) seemed to think that I was rather foolish for packing up myself, a 5 year old and a 3 year old, and two cats (14 and 13) for the (what turned out to be a) 13 hour trip. 701 miles. I drove the whole thing. I'm proud!

My mom came with us so she could help when the girls needed things, but they are needing things less and less on our trips. They really are seasoned travelers, and that makes me feel proud! I don't want my girls to be the type to sit around and never travel more than 30 miles from where they were born. There are so many people (esp in this place) who seem to be content to be like that. I can't imagine. Thank God.

The girls watched DVDs, mom and I planned a few things about our cruise (Feb 2009), we all played the ABC game, and some car BINGO. It was (dare I say it?) FUN!

Now, how I feel about leaving MO for so long? More on that later. I thought it was going to be a good thing...now I'm not so sure? I reserve the right to make a judgement on that a few days from now when I see if things around my mom's house change. The girls are having all of the behavior issues that they had when Todd left. They are trying hard to adjust to having grandparents around to help disipline (and having these grandparents who are hell bent on disiplining (did I spell that right?) them is ROUGH on them). Kara had a horrible melt down the first night (tired did NOT help) and today Leah melted down as well. I think I just need to spend some one on one time with them, just playing and TOUCHING Leah (Leah seems to respond well to physical touch...Kara HATES it when she's upset)...go figure...they are opposite about everything in life.

All in all...things are okay. It's still lonely missing Todd, but at least I'm not alone anymore. If that makes any sense at all.

Now to make our plans for the next few weeks. Need to head down to VA, then to Todd's mom's in PA, then to my sister's house for a while. Back here, then we're back to MO and waiting for Leah to start Kindergarten. Then, shortly after, Todd is home and VACATION TO DISNEY it is!!!! Can't wait.

Workout number 2

Day 2 on treadmill:
33 minutes
215 calories
1.8 miles
.65 miles jogging at avg of 11 min/mi pace

I was on the phone with the new momma, Chinell for the first 20 minutes of workout, so didn't have a super high pace then.

Update on Baby Peyton: She's doing very well, but still in the NICU. Chinell said that they should be able to bring her home by the end of the week. She has nursed twice and is a natural! Please keep the prayers coming.

Updates on our journey East later when I find a few minutes where the girls don't need me and I'm not freaking tired!

Workouts starting

Treadmill Day 1: 25 min (including warm up/cool down)
211 calories burned
1.6 miles
.5 mile jogged at 10 min mile pace