I wasn't really sure about the whole thing at first. The thought of seeing Todd both excited and scared me. At his office, once a month, they set up video conferences between families. We had 1/2 hour to see him and have him see us. It was absolutely amazing.
Seeing him, realizing that he's okay, having him see the girls, knowing that it's going faster than we'd hoped.....it was all incredible. I won't lie, it was pretty hard for me to say goodbye, but wow. The girls thought it was pretty neat. Daddy kept playing with his remote and zooming in on his face and making them giggle. They told him about the birthday party they went to last night and how school and gym are almost over, and for a few minutes, it all seemed so normal. We were together, all of us, and it felt good.
Now, of course, I miss him even more than I did, but I'll survive. I don't know that I'll ever let him know until he's home how hard this really is for me....I mean the emotional missing him part. I need for him to not worry about us that way. It's part of the "being strong" thing, and that's cool. It's important to be a little tough about it, even if it is a little white lie. Truth be told, i think he's fibbing a bit about how he's doing with that part as well.
I think the one thing that I thought about today that I hadn't before is how hard it must be to not have a "normal" life over there. There is no feeding the cats, or running to the grocery store, or heck, even making lunch. There is no cutting the grass, or filling the truck up with gas, or having a drink with the neighbors (oh, the neighbors....that's a whole nother post! Wait for that one!!). I feel bad for him because I think it's probably extra rough on Todd, since he's not the sit still type. BUT, work IS keeping him busy, so that's good...I'm sure the every day blending into the next really sucks, though.
Well, it's getting closer to time for my mom to be here. Truth be told, i can't wait for the "break" and being able to bond more with the girls. I haven't been able to spend as much fun time with them as I'd like, trying to get all of the things done around here and everything. Though, I must admit....I've really been thinking about it, and I need to let things go around here and spend more time with them....just being silly. They need it right now, and so do I. The hell with the laundry and the mail. My kids need me, and I need to do a better job than I have lately. I've been a bit withdrawn, I think, and that's not fair to them...it's not what they need....I WILL do better.....starting in the morning. We are going to cherish this time as a bonding experience that will hopefully spill into the teenage years....a mom can hope, right?
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